Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Boner Diary Highlights- #1

Time: 11:02 am
Cause: My penis has run off from my body forcing me to chase it naked through the street in a hilarious, almost Chaplinesque sequence. In order to be able to run, the penis must be erect.
Resolution: When I found it, I yelled at it*, causing it to cum tears.
Notes: Should this be what Rubinton is 'on the run' from in my screenplay**? So far I only have 28 pages describing his running in one giant block. Should write this down.

Time: 2:54 AM
Cause: Vanna White on 'Wheel of Fortune'.
Resoultion: Masturbate to Vanna White. Wheel of Fortune ends and a juicer infomercial begins. I do not stop masturbating.

Time: 28 O'Clock
Cause: Bizzaro time has caused my intestines to confuse themselves with one another, and the blood within all human bodies runs willy nilly, making us feel like our skulls could explode, our eye pop open, and us get boners for no reason.
Resolution: Defeat the villanous Dr. Spigman and his time revolving ray and cause time, humanity, and my boners to return back to normal.

Time: 13 O'Clock
Cause: At first I think Dr. Spigman is at it again! In fact however, I am in Europe, and am for some reason excited by a clock.
Resolution: Try to pick up the languague and the culture a little. Failing at that, I try to translate Rubinton on the Run into French. Aka: 'Rubintone a la Run!'

*Originally I planned to beat it mercillesly. But that's kind of a masturbation joke, ain't it? I don't know what you people want from the boner blog...
**'Rubinton on the Run'

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