Saturday, May 16, 2009

Deleted Bits: Alternate Plague Write-Up

I co wrote this with Hana, but we both decided to discard it because it just wasn't shaping up to be, how do you call it, not anti-semmetic. As both a Jew and a mouse I kind found the subject to be in the spectrum of: meh! The idea was that the anti-semites who blames the Jews for the plague, and the scientists who blame the rats were BOTH right, as the plague was caused by Jewish rats. Here it is:

Although the origins of the plague remain uncertain to this day, there are two schools of thinking for it: that the plague was caused by rats and that the plague was caused by the Jews. The asnwer, like all rat related material, lies somewhere in the perilous middle. In fact it was Jewish Rats, scientific name ‘Rattus Judacus’ who caused the plague. Literally, Jewish Rats. Rats who did not believe in Jesus, or even his rat counterpart Cheesus, and use the Torah, which to them was called the Torat. On an unrelated note, Rats aslo eat Mottzerella Ball Soup, have Rat Mitzvahs, and congratulate each other with a cry of ‘Mousel Tov’. But that’s unrelated note.
Led by an unrepentant yet religious leader, Feivel Mouseckewitz, the Mice of Jerusalm came West to Eastern Europe to escape many anti-semmetic (or should I say SeMOUSEic) cats, Egyptians and Hurricanes, but found them hailed by the anti-semmetic cry of ‘Eeeeek! A Mouse!’ The Mice of Jerusalem (or should I say JEWrusalem. No, I guess that’s kind of self-explanatory) have decided to fight against the Human Gentile Menace, which to them was called SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK! They came here to find jobs, but only two jobs were available to rats of the Hebrew faith, Hollywood Producer and plague spreaders, but with film not to be invented for another 500 years, they took up the job of the plague spreader.

Actually I really like part of this. Hopefully someday, someone will look at this and go: 'Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck...le!'


  1. Oh, and they also got circumoustions. Performed by a Brie.

  2. I mean, it was a Brie. It was performed by a Moushel.