Monday, June 29, 2009

The Boner Diaries

After massive popular demand I, Bizzaro World Lauph Member, Aleksander Firer, will begin to blog my boners. This is a study undertaken to see just how hilarious my boners are, and they will be set up like so:

Time: 1 AM
Cause: Thought about my boner diary and how awesome it is
Resolution: Masturbate for 8 Minutes, Cry for 52.

And as you guys know, I masturbate 23 hours after every day, taking only a break to watch back to back Seinfeld reruns at 7pm, so there will be plenty of entries in the Boner Diaries. The print edition are at least up to their second volume, no doubt to be collected when my screenplay 'Rubinton On the Run' finally takes off, and people want to study what makes me tick and create a character so devious and run oriented as Rubinton.

To be continued...

[Btw, Alyssa Harrington and Courtney Coulombe provided me a lot of advice on how to keep such a diary, so they are tagged. You may know Courtney from her hit joke: Bronte-saurus.]

3 comments:

  1. If you REALLY like to masturbate THAT much, I think you'll appreciate this HILARIOUS comedy music video at FunnyOrDie.com called "WANKIN"!

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c4aa6d6c4d/wankin-by-eli-braden

    ... that guy is INSANE ;)

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  2. I'm sorry Eli. But I only enjoy my own boners and the boners of my various female admirers.

    Besides, Seinfeld reruns are my #1 love.

    I may look at your video though. But I will be very cruel in my voting of 'funny' or 'die'.

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